Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

First, real estate, which, by no coincidence, involves both change and where we might see ourselves in 10 years. Knowing my audience, I’ll focus down to residential real estate for young, single, career adults with a dog. Also, let me get the old real estate truisms out of the way, which include…

• Buy low, sell high
• Location, location, location
• Buy lower end in a better neighborhood rather than top end in a worse neighborhood.
• Look for “potential”; the simple things to fix up that can make a big difference in curb appeal or livability. A lot of people have less imagination than you do.
  
  

That’s all the truisms I know. The rest of what follows I made up. Here goes…

• Know your limitations, financial, skills, time, and inclination. This means don’t become “house poor” unless you are very confident you will grow into more resources within the next several years. Don’t buy a “fixer-upper” unless you have the skills, time, inclination, and extra money to devote to the needed projects.
• Don’t let the house consume you. I’ve always stretched to the edge of my means when buying a house. This does not mean that the way dad did it is always the way it should be done. A house can be a nice hobby and diversion from career stresses and provide a good sense of satisfaction when you enjoy the improvements you’ve made. But a house is just another set of material possessions that can consume us out of all proportion to its worth if you let it. I hate trying to keep a balance in life. Being obsessive-compulsive about some things some of the time is so much fun.
• This real estate market! We are in a spectacular market…for the speculative investor. Most of us are not speculative investors. We need a house to live in, not to gamble on. It’s nice that we still have very low mortgage interest rates. But, unfortunately, in this market at least, low interest rates also allow people to raise housing prices to “whatever the market will bear.” And that is quite a lot in some parts of the country. I’m not familiar with housing inflation in your neck of the woods. I’m sure it’s not anything like the inflationary vortex we’re experiencing in the southern coastal areas – up an average of 100% in two years! But in your case, selling one home and buying another within a few miles in the same general market area should be a wash – except for one thing. If prices have inflated 10 or 20%, your taxes and homeowners insurance will probably increase that amount in your new home compared to your existing one. New assessments and new insurance policies are triggered by the purchase of the home you are moving into. These costs would have remained stable in the old home.
• Be diligent, be wise, and have fun doing it. The journey is the destination.
• Renting can be more appropriate than buying under several circumstances: Being uncertain about your job or future; being in a wild real estate market you don't trust are just two.
  
  

These changes in location, houses, and financial obligations can be stressful, which leads to the next topic, “change.”

First, the truisms about change…

• Change can be either good or bad. (duhhh)
• Change is inevitable and constant; we just don’t notice it or pay attention to it most of the time
• And, of course, the inimitable “serenity prayer”: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” (Generally thought to have been written by Reinhold Niebuhr)
• Change consciously made is a growth experience. Yes, I know, please, no more growth experiences!!!
• Change unconsciously made is sticking your head in the sand. But we will become conscious of it sooner or later. Later is harder.
  
  

That’s all the change truisms I know. And I think I made up that last one. Here is more “change food for thought”.

• We have limited control over change, but we do have some control. Oh, another change truism: “If you don’t know where you want to go, it matters not what road you take.” We need to know where we want to go to be able to influence change. The road we take does matter.
• The joys of “the road less traveled” is often a myth. There is often good reason why it is less traveled. It may seem like a shortcut to what you are after at the moment. There may be beautiful scenery along the way. But it may be a road full of ruts and potholes, or even a dead-end. It may not take you where you intended to go.
• The “wisdom to know the difference” is an interesting thought where the “serenity prayer” rather keeps us hanging. What is “the wisdom to know the difference” between what we can change and what we can’t? Between what we should change and what we should leave alone? One writer calls this wisdom “discernment”. http://www.joy2meu.com/Serenity_Prayer.html A synonymous concept is having well-established standards of conviction for your life. Having principles that you virtually automatically invoke whenever opportunities for change come your way. These convictions put you in a position so that you don’t have to agonize over which change to accept – these decisions will be automatic. Your conscious emotional energy can be reserved for the decisions between the better of the best options rather than being wasted on options that may lead down the wrong road.
• Change can be exciting, fun, and deeply fulfilling when it is directed toward your most deeply held aspirations and based on your most cherished convictions.
  
  

This is a good segue to the topic of “where you see yourself in 10 years.” Interesting thought. How to approach this one. Hmmm.

First off, I’m not going to speculate where I see my daughters in 10 years because I have trouble speculating even where I see myself in 10 years. This question relates a great deal to the previous two topics, change and real estate. Our aspirations and convictions, roads taken resulting in present circumstances, opportunities and limitations – all bring us to the potential for our future. Even real estate is included in this question because we have to occupy space, land, and we have to pay someone, somewhere, to occupy it.

Speaking for myself, I will be in my late 60’s. I will be either working part time in something I enjoy doing, or fully retired. I will be physically located either where I am, or in Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, or Alabama. (Confirmation about not knowing my future: Two years after this is written, I find myself retired in none of these locations!)

This raises some questions about my current preferences - What are they? What kinds of limitations or constraints do or will I have? Is it possible to know what is best 10 years from now based on what I know now?

My broad choices are…

• Keep my head in the sand and let these changes creep up on me and surprise me – the “whatever will be will be” mentality (it could be interesting); or
• Agonize over these choices without identifying principles and convictions that serve as the shining lights that identify my aspirations; the “whatever feels right at the moment” approach; or
• Raise my level of consciousness of the things that are most important to both my wife and I; our values, our convictions, and use those as the basis for the incremental decisions we make each week, each month, along the way to where we want to be in 10 years.
  
  

Any of these three options work to varying degrees. The third option takes the most work., but it will most likely achieve the best results. This third option takes tons of continuing dialogue with those most affected by the decision…requires an investment of time to read, to visit, to experience different options that seem attractive as to lifestyle and location. But most of all, it requires, collectively, knowing and accepting who you are, what you want, what you can tolerate, and what you can’t. To the extent that these things, these personal desires, are moving targets, you will be inefficient in your quest. I was going to say to the extent that these things are moving targets, you would be wasting your time. But this is not true. Again, I believe the journey is the destination. We can have satisfaction in the journey. In fact, if our focus is laser pinpointed on the target, and all our life’s energies and priorities are focused on achieving that target, what happens when we finally get there, which surely we will with that kind of focus? After a momentary self-congratulation, can you imagine a greater let down? “Now what do I do with my life?” you might ask.

Just for the sake of dreaming, here are some of my current, subject to change, preferences.

• Retired - year unknown – depends on finances, additional planning, and adjusting expectations for a realistic retirement standard of living, i.e. do we begin lowering our expectations and standards now, or do we wait for the shock of retirement?)
• In a lower cost of living area than I am in now so resources go further;
• In a small town near a larger city;
• Nearer our adult children, by plane or car;
• With interesting topography and flora and fauna;
• Near a college or university and a lake or large stream;
• With the ability to have a small motor home to travel about (this could be a part of the process of seeking out this retirement place);
• Involved in my church and encouraging others in hope;
• That my wife is happy in the process and the destination.
  

Nonetheless, we all want “the best” for our future. But “the best” can be so many different things, and so changeable. Certainly, clear priorities, commitment, consistency, and action are required. The question “where do I see myself in 10 years” raises many other questions. I am looking forward to dwelling on these questions, knowing that, as stated in the previous blog, “we become what we consume”. Stated in other words, we can become what our mind dwells on. This certainly influences where we will be in 10 years. To the extent we really want something we will think about it a lot, dwell on it…every road we take will lead us toward it (note lyrics of Emmy Lou Harris’ “Someone Like You” except substitute a place or circumstance for the lover). The excitement and motivation will continue to grow as our goal comes more clearly into view as the obstacles clear away. Other interests will always compete. But those can be the next priorities. That’s where constant awareness of and dedication to priorities is so important – if the original vision of where you want to be in 10 years is what you really want.

The interesting thing is, we can end up in circumstances totally different than what we planned and still be very happy. Even happier than what we planned. I guess that means happiness can't be planned, just lived.

We become what we consume...

Are you among those who doubt or deny that what you read, what you watch on TV or at the movies, or the music you listen to has little if any influence on your thoughts, your attitudes, and ultimately, your behavior and character?

I am amazed at people who actually believe that the entertainment they regularly expose themselves to has little or no influence on the person they become. They seem oblivious to an obvious reality.

Doesn't it make sense that those who expose themselves constantly to violence develop violent tendencies? That those who expose themselves constantly to dishonesty tend toward dishonesty?

And conversely, wouldn't it make sense that those who expose themselves constantly to selfless, giving situations tend toward becoming selfless and giving?

I'm not speaking of absolutes here. I'm speaking of human tendencies that result from what we do with our lives, our senses, and our time.

One might then ask, "does that mean if I watch a show featuring terrorists that I'll become a terrorist?" No. But if you spend large amounts of time watching shows depicting terrorism in a positive light, such as from an Islamofacist perspective (or from an America-hating perspective like Newsweek) then you are likely to have a greater tendency to agree with the purposes of terrorism, if not also develop tendencies toward that sociopathic behavior.

Another might suggest that watching anti-social or immoral entertainment is a person's voyeuristic outlet - by having an outlet one could argue a person is less inclined to do such things in real life. This would argue for the thought that billions are spent on advertising so that people will NOT buy the product; that such advertising just serves as an outlet to reduce the desire for the product. Hmmm.

Newsflash: Adverstisers spend billions on advertising because advertising works! People who watch or read advertisements are more likely to buy the product!

Our practice of watching immoral entertainment and denying its effect on us is an addiction just as assuredly as smoking is an addiction. I've spoken with addicted smokers who will actually get defensive and angry at the suggestion that there is a connection between smoking and emphysema as they hack and choke with their smokers' cough.

The addict denies his addiction. In a sense we are all addicted to various things that aren't all that good for us. It is our challenge to identify them and change if we sincerely desire to be a better person, whether the addiction (or strong, controlling habit - take your pick of words) involves the foods we eat, substances we smoke, entertaining we soak in, friends we keep...

It all boils down to life priorities. What do we want to become? Just as "we are what we eat", we become what we consume, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. The book of Proverbs proclaims, "As [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Proverbs 23:7.)

Some don't care what they become, so whatever life makes of them is OK. Others believe they are so much in control of their lives that the negative, destructive, anti-social entertainment they consume doesn't effect them. They are above it all - uh huh, uh huh.

I have some ocean-front property in Arizona you might be interested in.

The Flushing Rumor: Who Are the Sociopaths?

I'm not sure what's worse: the irresponsible, reactionary, anti-American liberal media, or the irresponsible, reactionary, anti-American, Islamofacists. Well, maybe I am sure.

The casual observer of recent news reports and opinion on this topic will note the majority of the blame being heaped on one of our favorite whipping posts, the "liberal media", in this case Newsweek. They, like the crew at CBS, were so caught up in their anti-American predisposition that they took a shread of information and made it into something it wasn't.

The radical, and perhaps even the moderate, Islamists did the same thing. Starting in Afghanistan, thousands (or is it millions) of these otherwise good and kind people are taking an unsubstantiated thread of information and rioting and killing over it. The average shrink in this country would call this behavior extremely psychotic, worthy of one with a diagnosis of an extreme bi-polar disorder. That kind of reactionary behavior would normally get someone put away in prison or a high security mental hospital for a very long time.

So, have we come to expect this severely reactionary behavior from a major portion of the worlds population as "normal" and worthy of tiptoeing around? I think that "norm" is absurd.

As much as I would like to nail liberal media like Newsweek for their sin of bias, the majority of our finger pointing is in the wrong direction. Muslims would like to be known and understood as decent people, yes? Decent people don't riot in the street killing innocent people because an erroneous innuendo ticks them off. That is a sociopathic mental illness. And apparently a lot of them have it.

Click on the heading of this blog for an excellent related article from the National Review.


And from the web site Jihad Watch, here is another observation of the character defect of the "radicals", however many million there happen to be:

http://www.jihadwatch.org/dhimmiwatch/archives/006202.php

And finally, Ann Coulter's pointed comments about Newsweeks' anti-American rot from within:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/s/ucac/20050518/cm_ucac/newsweekdissembledmuslimsdismembered/nc:742

Self Esteem - Or Moving Deck Chairs on the Titanic?

The title of this post leads to a wonderful article on "self-esteem." Self-esteem is not the end all and be all of improvement in human behavior and success. In fact, it may be just the thing to perpetuate bad habits and failure. In essence, if someone is screwing up, what's the basis for self esteem? Complementing mediocrity perpetuates mediocrity.

The link is a must read for anyone interested in this topic.

Overcoming the Past

A friend of mine and I were discussing our parental responsibilities and compared notes about our efforts at parenthood.

My leaning was to acknowledge that there was always something I could have done better as a parent to give my children a better example, to teach them better, to be more consistent, more loving, more faithful, more prayerful, while not dwelling on my failures in these later years.

His leaning was to acknowledge that no matter how we performed as parents, we did the best we could, and it is the young adult children's responsibility to seek and make the right decisions in the life they now command. He had his own life experience to back up his position. When he was three, his abusive, alcoholic father gave his mother the choice between her three year old son, or her husband. Based on her own insecurities, she chose her husband and abandoned the child.

The child grew up, feeling abandoned, unwanted, defensive, alone, fearful of closeness, aloof from others. Entering adulthood, he made a decision to assume responsibility for his own life. He decided to not allow the past to be his excuse for the future. He knew he was an intelligent being aware of the right things to do, and decided to do them. He learned from this lifelong experience that he could have chosen to go either way...either to remain shackled as a victim of the past, or get on with life, taking responsibility for his own decisions and success.

In reality, both of these leanings are at work. We, as parents, could have done more, but the adult children are responsible for making their own good decisions now. It is a mistake to sabotage their future because of the sins, insecurities, or misfortunes of the past. Sure, our circumstances from our childhood and young adult years help mold what we have become: our fears and worries and likes and dislikes, joys and sorrows. But, with our own efforts, we can change our thinking and our circumstances.

But what if what we can do oursleves is not enough? What if the past is too strong?

One of my new favorite scriptures is "For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do." (2 Nephi 25:23) After all we can do. After we do all we can do, and we can do no more ourselves, what are our options as parents or as young adults who have had a less than perfect childhood? If failure is not an option, the only other option is to believe in Christ and be reconciled to God. Allow his grace to transcend our fears about marriage, our fears about relationships, our fears about failing again. Trust in him to carry us over the rough spots and into his love - so we can learn how to love and trust again, after all we can do ourselves.

Example of one of my "callings" at church...

For those who may be interested in what a typical "Sunday School" lesson is like in my church, (and for those daughters who might want to know a little about what their dad studies and teaches in church), I've provided a current example, below. This particular lesson is being taught in the Priesthood meeting during our third hour. It is a lesson from the teachings of the Presidents of the Church. In this instance, this is from the teachings of President McKay, who in 1951, became the ninth President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The heading provides a link to the chapter of his book that my lesson is based on. Here it is. I hope it provides an insight or two...


David O. McKay…
Chapter 9: Overcoming Temptation

Lesson aims:
To understand…

• What is temptation
• The implications of premortality and postmortality
• Practical ways of overcoming
  

What are the major forms of temptation that come to each of us as discussed by President McKay? (Page 82)

What are some examples of each of these forms of temptation?

Temptations of appetite or passion: [Ask others to give examples]
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·
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A yielding to pride, fashion, or vanity:
·
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A desire for worldly riches or power and dominion over lands or earhly possessions of men [or over other people].
·
·
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Why are we tempted? Why do we have all these choices?

Part of the answer lies in the reason why the wisdom of God fixed a veil between our premortality and this life: [This part is not in the KcKay chapter. But I find the purpose of the premortal life, and the hope for the postmortal life particularly helpful to the topic of this lesson, so I discuss it.]

Elder Maxwell explained:

“…mercifully, the veil is there. It is fixed by the wisdom of God for our good. It is no use being impatient with the Lord over that reality, for it is clearly a condition to which we agreed so long ago…Without the veil, we would lose that precious insulation which would constantly interfere with our mortal probation and maturation. Without the veil, our brief mortal walk in a darkening world would lose its meaning – for one would scarcely carry the flashlight of faith at noonday and in the presence of the Light of the World. Without the veil, we could not experience the gospel of work and the sweat of our brow. If we had the security of having already entered into God’s rest, certain things would be unneeded…”

Elder Orson Pratt answered this question this way:

“…if we had all our preexistent knowledge accompanying us into this world, show to our Father in the heavens and to the heavenly host that we would be in all things obedient….in order that we may prove ourselves before the heavens obedient and faithful in all things, we have to begin at the very first principles of knowledge, and be tried from knowledge to knowledge and from grace to grace, until, like our elder brother, we finally overcome and triumph over all our imperfections, and receive with him the same glory that he inherits, which glory he had before the world was.”

How do these statements explain to you why we are given temptations in our darkness of understanding – behind the veil?

[Consider the reasons for our mission on earth without knowing our "history."]

So this explains why we are tempted. Now why is it important that we overcome temptation?

To please Heavenly Father…
But why?
How does this desire to please God affect what happens to us in our postmortal life?

What are the two states or conditions after our mortal life but before resurrection?

Paradise and prison.

What is experienced in each state? A partial judgement. Quoting Victor Ludlow about this early phase of our postmortal state, he observes:

“When an angel visited and taught him, Alma received later insights about the period directly after death. He recorded: “The spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow…The spirits of the wicked…shall be cast into outer darkness; there shall be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and this [is] a state of awful, fearful looking for the fiery indignation of the wrath of God upon them; thus they remain in this state, as well as the righteous in paradise, until the time of their resurrection.” (Alma 40:12-14).

“Thus a partial judgment occurs after death as people enter the world of spirits – the righteous to a state of rest and peace; the wicked to a state of darkness and fear. These two states are called paradise and prison, ad we remain in this spirit world in either state until our resurrection. Eventually, each of us will enter one of these two postmoral existences. Since the state we find ourselves in is dependent upon the way we live, a preview of both states may help us decide how to conduct our lives.”

And a preview of both states may help motivate us to resist and overcome temptation.

To recap:

We have discussed three types of temptation…
We discussed why we are tempted…
We discussed a motivating influence in overcoming temptation…


Now let’s focus on ways of seeking assistance in overcoming temptation. What are some tools and principles that can help us?

Resist temptation. (James 4:7)
Decide who you will serve; maintain that as a steadfast principle of life

Assimilate God’s word. (Matthew 4:3-4)
Let His word permeate your personality and attitude; leave no room for the opposite.

Don't listen to fools. (Matthew 4:6-7)
Along with this is the principle of association, who our friends are, what we read, how we entertain ourselves, and don't waste on talents being provoked into senseless acts…

Do not place the temptations in a higher status than God. (Matthew 4:8-11)
Keep reevaluating, realigning, and reasserting priorities based on your principles.

Live the gospel; put others first. (Matthew 16:25)
Remember what President Hinckley said is the symbol of our faith.

Do not believe that you have overcome and are above temptation McKay page 87, 5th paragraph beginning with “All good things…”

“All good things require effort. That which is worth having will cost part of your physical being, your intellectual power, and your soul power – “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” But you have to seek, you have to knock. On the other hand, sin entices, it allures. You do not have to put forth effort…It is like the billboard advertising attracting you to drink and to smoke. It is like the message that comes into your very homes with the television and radio…Evil seeks you, and it requires effort and fortitude to combat it. But truth and wisdom are gained only by seeking, by prayer, and by effort.”

When are we most vulnerable to temptation. We are most vulnerable when we are preoccupied with our greatest pleasures and preoccupied with our greatest disappointments and doldrums. These are the times when we should pray most -- pray to Heavenly Father to lead us away from temptation and pray to thank Him for what He has given us, for what He promises us, and for His divine protection and guidance in the circumstance we find ourselves in.

So, who should we strive to be like?

Some of the greatest deceptions of our time are the messages that entice us to become someone we are not. Advertisements and the media urge women to become anorexic, vain, air-brushed vamps - men to become debonair, sensual, power-hungry yet carefree jocks. (That sounds like a candidate for multiple personality disorder diagnosis!) For all of us to lust after cutting edge technology, or lust after the opposite, or any sex. These messages are apparently effective at keeping our economy going strong. They sell products; they keep people motivated to earn and spend on the things that help us become the people in the ads. It matters little that the basest instincts of humanity are invoked to achieve these purposes. This all occurs at the secular level.

I've observed a more puzzling and hypocritcal attitude at the religious level. In Christian writings, the Bible in particular, there are numerous admonitions to become "more Godly", "more Christlike". Most Christians are familiar with the concept of our "Heavenly Father", or "our Father, which art in heaven..." What does that make us, Iguana? No. We are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father; of the one true God. The Bible sets forth a high ideal for our lives and our eternity. We have a heritage and a purpose. But most of today's religions do not take this relationship with God very seriously. They water it down and spiritualize it. They take the reality out of it. They read and quote the words but deny the meaning - they deny our hertitage and our potential.

So when a group of people (LDS) come along who read and understand the words of Scripture for what it says, they are ridiculed and called a blaspheming cult. What are some of the words of the Bible that describe who we are and who we can become?
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Genesis 3:22 - "Man is become one of us." Who is quoted here? Certainly not the Iguana! Sounds like God the Father and His son making an assertion.

Psalm 82:6 - "Ye are gods, and all of you are children of the most High"

Matthew 5:48 - "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect." Is this a trick request of Jesus, something that is unatainable? Or was He serious?

John 10:34 - "Is it not written in your law...Ye are gods?"

Acts 17:29 - "...we are the offspring of God."

Romans 8:16-17 - "The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together."

2 Corinthians 3:18 - "But we all, with oopen face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord."

Ephesians 4:13;15 - "Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ...may grow up into Him in all things, which is the head, even Christ."

1 John 3:2 - "Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him..."

Revelation 3:21 - "To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne." Elsewhere Scripture teaches that in our mortal form we can't even lay our eyes upon Him without being destroyed. And here we have the "overcomers" sitting on God's throne right next to Him. What's different here?
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What do these verses all mean? Are they random verses taken out of context, meaning something different from what they appear to say? Or do they represent a central theme of God's word, that God is our Heavenly Father, we are heirs of Christ, are urged to follow him, become like him, and someday sit down with our Heavenly Father in his throne. What does that make us, Iguana?

Are we to take these verses as symbolism, as literary license? God forbid, that would be the road to spiritualize away the person and work of Christ himself! Might as well study "Gone With The Wind" and yearn for Tara! Then instead of Iguana, we could call ourselves Tara-dactyls.

What are the evangelicals and other "orthodox" Christians trying to get at when they disparage Latter Day Saints for taking the words of the Bible seriously? From my study and understanding, they are denying a principal doctrine of Scripture, they are denying the power of God, and believing that we, sons of God, can never be more than sinful humans. They are saying "God forbid that we would become like gods!" In reality, God does NOT forbid that we become like gods. He commands us to!

Many of us see through a mirror so dimly that we think that what we are is all we can ever be. I guess in my career as a planner, I am trained to look ahead a bit. But this is really looking ahead. Certainly we will not reach Godly stature in this lifetime. But to deny that we will ever be capable, or have the hope of achieving the status promised in Scripture is denying God's power. And never to be forgetten is the immutable fact that our Heavenly Father is and always will be our Heavenly Father, the one true God, whatever we might become.

The heading of this article is a link to a wonderful Jeff Lindsay.com article titled "The Divine Potential of Human Beings: The Latter-day Saint Perspective." There is even a section in that link titled "Do any objective, qualified, non-Mormon experts agree that early Christians thought that they could become gods?" For those wanting to explore this topic further, that is a great place to start.

A note of humilty and reality - Just as salvation cannot be presumed based only on the overly simplistic and isolated admonition of "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou wilt be saved", the ultimate "god" status spoken of in Scripture is not a slam dunk, either. Just as they say in the TV infomercials: "Wait, there's more!" There is also the "James" part of Scripture and all the other parts about keeping commandments and helping our neighbor while maintaining a saintly attitude, etc. Most of us lack the faith needed to trust we won't get mugged helping a stranger change a flat tire. And even more of us have difficulty comprehending the possibility of accepting the truth of the Scriptures quoted above, never mind the number of millenia that it might take to realize it. There is a lot of testing and proving to be done through the eternities. But our faith in Christ and our efforts in the here and now in this life is our continual starting point. This brings even more significance to the Biblical mandate to "persevere to the end."

Mocking the Faith of Another

A favorite knee-jerk reaction of a fair number of people is mocking the beliefs of others. Only those who don't believe in anything can avoid being mocked.

Just tonight, after band practice, a very devout Charismatic woman I was conversing with about my donation of a music collection to BYU remarked, "Oh, that's in Salt Lake City, Mormon Heaven." The innuendo was that Mormons don't believe in the same kind of heaven others do, so they created their own. I explained that LDS have a deep reverence for the founding of this nation on Christian principles and that band music refects much of historic Americana. After she remembered I was LDS, she shifted quickly to mock Jehovah's Witnesses about not pledging allegience to the flag. "Yes", I thought, "divert attention from your slip of the tongue by quickly shifting to attacking someone else's faith." But I didn't say that. Instead, I kindly explained to her that Jehovah's Witnesses' reasoning, from Scripture, is that they believe they should pledge allegience only to God, not to a government. She went on to infer they don't believe in obeying laws since they don't pledge. I continued, "not pledging the flag does not mean they don't obey the laws of the land."

Why did I feel compelled to enter into this defensive dialogue with this otherwise sweet woman? Because I think that people who show their ignorance by mocking the faith of others need to be challenged. Faith is faith because it can't be proven. If it could be proven, it wouldn't be faith. It would be indisputable fact. Faith is not fact. It is, as they say "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Review Hebrews Chapter 11.) Even the concept of "fact" has its shortcomings. A thing we understand as "fact" today oftentimes is incomplete or partial truth, or perhaps totally in error. So to make fun of someones' faith is an ignorant exercise.

Even the aetheist who mocks any religion based on their belief that nothing is possible apart from the proofs of science is on very shaky ground. He proves his ignorance by denying the fact that science has yet to prove much more in the future than it has proven in the past. That is to say, much more is yet to be discovered and known than has been discovered and known so far. Acceptance of the "unproven" or the "unknown" involves faith.

Evangelicals in particular find it easy to mock any non-Evangelical, whether it be Catholics, Mormons, or non-evangelical Presbyterians. It is so easy, so much fun, and so common to make fun or belittle or defame others based on ignorance of the concept of faith, or ignorance of the basis for the faith of others. And naturally, instead of taking the time to understand the reasons for another's faith, it is much easier and more fun to mock it.

Today's Christians often have a bad case of amnesia when they engage in deriding the beliefs of others, especially when new revelelation is involved. They forgot that during the time of Christ the Jews had difficulty accepting change. Jesus was mocked and ultimately crucified for claiming a new belief system that was contrary to existing tradition and practice. The prophets of the Old Testament more often than not were in despair because their own people ignored and mocked what they were prophesying.

It is so easy to ignore that history and to apply a double standard by ignorantly mocking those not in agreement with our own beliefs. We all live in glass houses with regard to our vulnerability to attack because of our beliefs. These actions are often called "bigotry", a behavior in the same league as racism, facism and other forms of unjust discrimination.

Conservative Improvement On AARP

My brother recently passed away. One of his pet peeves was large bureaucary that is either deceitful or that makes it difficult to accomplish its purported service. An organization on his peeve list that meet all of these criteria was AARP - the Americans Antagonistic toward the Republican Party, err, I mean American Association of Retired Peacenicks, ummm, PERSONS. There, I finally got it right.

This organization has built itself a reputation for carrying on the banner of the 60's anti-Vietnam flower children, drug addicts, and liberal let-government-do-it-all philosophy into the 21st century. They purport to reperesent the interests of older Americans through their products and services, but they are just another marketing strategy for mediocre insurance, and socialist causes. The last AARP straw with me was when I read an article in one of the AARP magazines reminiscing about the good ol' gettin' high drug use days in the 60's. Weren't they just so uplifting and fun! And I will add, and didn't their addictions affect their abilities to think clearly even to this day!

An alternative to AARP that got my attention is USANext. Its' moral and political positions are consistent with my own - the exact opposite of AARP. Any person nearly as old as I am should give this new organization a serious look. And you can still get your motel discounts!

Obligation to Our Children

Any parent who has love and respect for their culture, their country, their way of life, or especially, for their faith and religion, have an obligation to pass this attitude of love and respect for these things on to their children. Otherwise, that cherished value dies with you and your own generation.

If your higher value is that any value, any culture, any faith, any religion is as good as another, then, as a parent, you may legitimately decide to do nothing to pass anything on to your children. Let them discover and do their own thing. Your guidance may not matter a whole lot, because you don't believe a whole lot. Many people feel this way in our culture, which will mean the death of our culture in just another generation or two. And this is entirely what has happened during the past two generations in this country. We've ignored our roots, dismissed the foundational principles of our culture and nation, the who, why, when and where of our own identity. And we wonder why our children's interests and preoccupations and values seem so different from our own.

My knowledge, experience, and faith tell me it does matter what we pass on to our kids - that not all opinions, beliefs, and cultural priorities have equal value. Some are more helpful and some or more destructive than others. This perspective matters when we have the additional perspective than it is vitally important what future generations value and believe. If we care only for the here in now, our concern for the future will logically be a low priority. If we understand that a significant part of our purpose on earth is to do what we can to enhance goodness, nobility, and Godliness of our progeny, then logically, passing these things on will be a high priority.

Focusing on issues of faith, this task of teaching and being an example to our children is obviously more joyful and more effective if both parents are of the same faith. The most effective teaching is teaching by example, by behavior, by attitude, as well as teaching from books. When half of the child's guidance system during the childhood years is missing or is indifferent, this will have a huge impact on the child. And such absence will be a huge disappointment to the spouse who values this nurturing responsiblity. The half of the parenting team who is less committed or leaves this teaching work to the other parent may believe she is being liberal-minded, tolerant, or big-hearted. In reality, she would be doing no favor to her spouse, to the child, or to future generations.

It is true that there can be two Presbyterians, husband and wife, who are, nonetheless, "unequally yoked" - that is, having radically different beliefs and radically different levels of commitment. Following this example, there is the very liberal Presbyterian Church USA, and the very conservative Presbyterian Church in America. Belief systems in these churches are like night and day. One might as well be a universalist, the other Greek Orthodox. On the other hand there could be a Catholic and a Latter Day Saint. While far from ideal, if these two individuals had shared beliefs in scripture, in a literal Jesus as son of God, in God the Father, a literal resurrection, forgiveness of sin, in the benefits of "good works", in the purpose of raising families, in teaching faith principles to their children, there may very well be enough in common to manifest itself in joint commitment to teaching their children well through example and literature.

But, needless to say, this would still be a less than ideal situation. Questions and conflict are sure to arise during the 20 to 25 year process of raising the family. These differences will make it all too easy during this lengthy period of time for differences in faith, practice, and attitudes to manifest themselves in negative body language, arguments, conflicting priorities, hurt feelings, and ultimately, confusion all too easily transferred to and assimilated by the children. Isn't there enough confusion and uncertainty in the world without this confusion and uncertainty coming from the parents?

If faith is important to one of the partners about to be married, it needs to be equally important to the other. Such faith needs to be a shared faith, with each equally excited by and involved in it. It grieves our Heavenly Father to see couples enter into marriage on different faith tracks. He understands the difficult future this will bring the couple, and especially His children through future generations. Love overcomes all only so long as love exists. These differences have a way of eroding love unless one member of the couple either succumbs or converts to the beliefs of the other. Succumbing results in resentment and continuing conflict. Converting involves a change of heart and attitude, and will result in genuine love and commitment to both the faith and the life of the other.

I pray that couples considering marrige will consider these thoughts prayerfully. One of my favorite snippets of inspired literature applies to these admonitions: "Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."

Technology, Longer Commutes, and Family Time

USA Today observed that population is booming in the exurbs, 30 to 40 miles out from the center of cities such as Washington, DC, Atlanta, and Minneapolis (click on the title above for the article). Places like Loudoun County, Virginia, and Clay County, Georgia, are the recipients of these population booms.

The article explains "This spreading out is happening after a decade when the USA grew faster than at any time since the 1960s, spurring demand for millions of new housing units. Despite efforts to contain suburban sprawl and encourage denser development, many Americans are willing to endure longer commutes to achieve their dream of owning a single-family home with a big yard."

This is not a new phenomenon. We have been "sprawling" now since we've begun owning cars, since the homecoming of WWII troops wanting good homes for their baby-boomer families. The joy of sprawl is part of our human nature. Some people think the concept has received a bad rap. There are consequences of every lifestyle density. Certainly the densities of central cities are not without volumes written about noted problems.

One of the unmentioned contributors to this apparent new wave of more far-reaching sprawl is technology: The cell phones, the personal data assistants (PDAs), technical integration with the likes of Blackberrys, entertainment via iPods and satellite radio. These technologies make life on the road both more efficient and more palatable, if not entertaining and enjoyable. To overcome the $3 per gallon gas prices are the hybrids, the Prius', and their clones will be marketed en mass. Sprawl will continue...and many people will like it, maybe even thrive.

The other unmentioned, and not easily quantifiable factor is the growing time away from home and family. More sprawl means longer commutes. Longer commutes mean more time away from home. This is a trend that seems to be continuing for many families. There may be some personal satisfaction for some to be away more, career or otherwise. There may be some significant financial benefit for the family. But there are also very significant social consequences. Less family unity, less guidance for the kid, greater potential for broken homes, the chain of effective parenting and example of family unity broken for future generations.

Some families understand these consequences and are not willing to accept them. Some familes will make housing decisions that enable them to live closer to work and spend more time at home. These decisions will often result in living in smaller or older homes, paying higher taxes, and occasionally attending inferior schools.

The options are many. The decisions are personal. The consequences are long-lived. The values we hold highest will prevail in the decisions we make.

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